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Existential Crisis Candle | Sarcastic Scents Candle | Choose Any Scent

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$37.00

$30.00
Shipping calculated at checkout.

Embrace the chaos of life with a candle that totally gets it: "What the Actual Fuck—Smells Like an Existential Crisis." Perfect for those times when you're questioning everything, this candle blends a great scent with a hilariously relatable message. Whether you’re treating yourself or gifting it to someone who understands the vibe, it’s the perfect mix of humor, comfort, and light for life’s WTF moments.

Discover the cozy charm of our all-natural soy wax candles, crafted without toxic paraffin for a clean, eco-friendly glow. Each candle is thoughtfully handmade and available in a range of inviting scents, perfect for setting the mood in any room. Choose a medium size for over 40 hours of burn time, or go big with a large candle that offers more than 80 hours of ambiance. Whether you're adding a warm touch to your space, celebrating a special occasion, or looking for a heartfelt gift, our candles bring together sustainability, quality, and long-lasting comfort. Illuminate your world, naturally!

Candle Details:

Wax: Pure Soy
Wicks: 100% Cotton (Lead/Metal Free) or FSC certified wooden wicks.
Fragrance Oils: Responsibly Sourced, High Quality Fragrance Oils from US Manufacturers
- Phthalate Free ✓.
- Nitro Musk Free ✓.
- Paraben Free ✓. 
      Container: Glass - Widely Recyclable ✓. 
      Dimensions:
      - 3oz: 2.86" x 2.5"
      - 7oz: 3.25" x 2.6"
      - 9oz: 2.75" x 3.25"
      - 12oz: 3.05" x 3.5"
      - 16oz: 3.6" x 3.89" 
        Packaging: Corrugated Cardboard, Recyclable

        Wax: Pure Soy
        Wicks: 100% Cotton (Lead/Metal Free) or FSC certified wooden wicks.
        Fragrance Oils: Responsibly Sourced, High Quality Fragrance Oils from US Manufacturers
        - Phthalate Free ✓.
        - Nitro Musk Free ✓.
        - Paraben Free ✓. 
            Container: Glass - Widely Recyclable ✓. 
            Dimensions:
            - 3oz: 2.86" x 2.5"
            - 7oz: 3.25" x 2.6"
            - 9oz: 2.75" x 3.25"
            - 12oz: 3.05" x 3.5"
            - 16oz: 3.6" x 3.89" 
              Packaging: Corrugated Cardboard, Recyclable
              Burn Times:
              - 3oz: Approx. 12 Hours
              - 7oz: Approx. 25 Hours
              - 9oz: Approx. 40-50+ Hours
              - 12oz: Approx. 60+ Hours
              - 16oz: Approx. 80-90+ Hours
              Burn times are calculated based on a standard, lab controlled method. Each candle is lit, allowed to burn in typical room conditions for exactly 4 hours then extinguished.
              Once fully cooled, it is trimmed, re-lit and the process is repeated. The below burn times are averages from this methodology, but vary according to fragrance, airflow, room size, ambient temperature and other environmental factors.
              - 3oz: Approx. 12 Hours
              - 7oz: Approx. 25 Hours
              - 9oz: Approx. 40-50+ Hours
              - 12oz: Approx. 60+ Hours
              - 16oz: Approx. 80-90+ Hours
              Burn times are calculated based on a standard, lab controlled method. Each candle is lit, allowed to burn in typical room conditions for exactly 4 hours then extinguished.
              Once fully cooled, it is trimmed, re-lit and the process is repeated. The below burn times are averages from this methodology, but vary according to fragrance, airflow, room size, ambient temperature and other environmental factors.
              Soy Candle Care:

              Candle care is important for getting the most out of your soy candle. Here are a few tips to keep in mind:

              • When lighting your soy candle for the first time, allow the wax to melt all the way to the sides of the container. This will take around 1-3 hours depending on the size of the container, but it will prevent "tunneling" and extend the life of your candle.
              • Soy wax burns at a lower temperature than paraffin wax, so soy wax candles require a thicker wick. Be sure to trim your wick to about 1/4" before relighting to ensure a long-lasting candle and minimize soot.
              • Extinguish your candle by dipping the wick into the melted wax and straightening it. This will stop the wick from smoking and make it easier to relight next time.

              Keep in mind that our candles are hand-poured, not mass-produced, so each candle will have its own unique characteristics. You may notice darker patches or "wet" spots in container candles made with completely natural soy wax. This is not a defect, but simply a small blemish where the wax has not adhered to the glass 100%. The top of your candle may also appear slightly uneven, which is also a sign of natural soy wax being hand poured.

              By following these simple steps, you'll be able to enjoy the natural beauty of our soy candles and make the most of their eco-friendly and American-made goodness.

                  Candle care is important for getting the most out of your soy candle. Here are a few tips to keep in mind:

                  • When lighting your soy candle for the first time, allow the wax to melt all the way to the sides of the container. This will take around 1-3 hours depending on the size of the container, but it will prevent "tunneling" and extend the life of your candle.
                  • Soy wax burns at a lower temperature than paraffin wax, so soy wax candles require a thicker wick. Be sure to trim your wick to about 1/4" before relighting to ensure a long-lasting candle and minimize soot.
                  • Extinguish your candle by dipping the wick into the melted wax and straightening it. This will stop the wick from smoking and make it easier to relight next time.

                  Keep in mind that our candles are hand-poured, not mass-produced, so each candle will have its own unique characteristics. You may notice darker patches or "wet" spots in container candles made with completely natural soy wax. This is not a defect, but simply a small blemish where the wax has not adhered to the glass 100%. The top of your candle may also appear slightly uneven, which is also a sign of natural soy wax being hand poured.

                  By following these simple steps, you'll be able to enjoy the natural beauty of our soy candles and make the most of their eco-friendly and American-made goodness.